I'm still here
by RashelleAndJag
Summary: Penny breaks it off with Percy, and Percy has to reflect on who he is. (Oliver/Percy slash!)
1. Default Chapter

            Okay, this IS happy little fluffy fic. This fic contains spoilers for Harry Potter, (it's a fanfiction, duh) and this is a SLASH fanfic. 

            This is an alternate universe sort of. It makes no real use of anything that happens in the book, and if Harry Potter is mentioned, well, it'll be real brief. Basically, I am using Percy, Oliver, and Hogwarts and staff, and the rest is my own creation. 

            This also includes the song, "I'm still here" by John Rzeznik. Like you couldn't tell by the creative title. Ouch. Okay, I need to work on my titles.

            And in case you forgot, it's SLASH. 

            Jag -  *shakes her head* _Don't look at me. I'm the one who writes depressing stories about life and people in general. I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I was remotely traumatized just reading it._

Rashelle – **Well, it wanted to be written. And while this fiction does contain boy/boy romance and love, this fic DOES NOT contain graphic sex of any kind. It more like Will & Grace, but with actual smoochies. So I'll rate it R even though I think I've seen worse PG-13 movies.  **

            If this is not your cup of tea, or if you are offended by the idea of two young persons of the same sex involved in a caring relationship, well, move on then, click the little button pointing to the left and read no further. 

            If you are not scared away, and you want to keep on reading. . . Well, go on, nothing's stopping you.  


	2. Prologue

Prologue: 

_And what do you think you'd understand?_

_I'm a boy, no, I'm a man._

_You can't take me and throw me away._

_And how can you learn what's never shown?_

_Yeah, you stand here on your own._

_They don't know me 'cause I'm not here._

It was a nice night. The moon was out, and full and round. The softest of breezes brushed across the grounds, rustling leaves and grass and foliage. The stars were just beginning to show in the twilight purple sky. 

            "Look, Percy, I just don't think this is working out between us." Penny attempted to sound firm, brushing her hair out of her eyes with her left hand. It fell in down her back in waves of golden oak. 

            Percy jerked, pulling his thoughts back from wherever they were. He had suggested a walk in the gardens, his hand clasped firmly over hers. Romantic, he thought, and very practical for both his and her hectic schedules. Obviously he had misjudged somewhere. "Why not?"

            She took a deep breath, and exhaled, so deeply that her hair moved against the warm air. "I need more than you're prepared to give me." 

            "If this is about Thursday, I'm terribly sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you on Friday, after I finish tutorials at the library. It won't take me long." 

            "Percy, you're not listening to me!" 

            Percy stopped mid-stride. "Okay, Penny, I'm listening." 

            "This isn't about Thursday or any day. It has nothing to do with anything you do. You are the perfect boyfriend. I mean, thoughtful, considerate, organized, it's the reason why I missed it for so long." 

            Percy looked at her, confusion evident on his face. "Missed what?" He struggled to keep his voice completely even, humouring her. 

            Penny lost it. "Relationships are not about being perfect, Percy! You can't schedule affection. All the other girls are talking about their Gryffindor boyfriends, so impulsive, and . . ."

            Percy just looked at her. "Pardon?"

            "Never mind, Percy," Penny sighed. "I'm not happy. I think we should break up." 

            "Okay . . ." Percy said dumbly. 

            "See! Percy, this is exactly what I mean."

            "Okay." 

            "I knew you'd understand." Penny kissed him on the cheek quickly. "We'll always be friends." 

            "Sure." Percy said again, as Penny hurried off, obviously much relieved. "Sure." 


	3. Chapter One

Chapter One: 

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how can the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_They don't know me,_

_'Cause I'm not here._

            Percy walked along the grey corridors. He had never realized exactly how far the gardens were from the Gryffindor common rooms. Come to think of it, they were not close to the Ravenclaw common rooms either. They were close to the Hufflepuff and Slytherin common rooms though, but Percy supposed that that made sense. After all, they would of necessity be located somewhere close to Professor Snape and Professor Sprout. 

            He didn't hear the click until it was too late. 

            He had stepped on something. 

            Like one of George and Fred's newest toys. Of course, no one had caught them with them, but everybody knew who was setting them. 

            He could stand there, his foot on the trigger until a teacher came along and disarmed it, or he could suck it up and take a step, see what this particular one did. 

            He really hoped that it wasn't the itching powder version Owen Stokes had discovered yesterday. 

            There was a sound that Percy recognized. It was the sound of something that had once occupied a very small space, expanding at high pressure. With Fred and George in the house, you learned to recognise these things. It was a useless talent, and actually rather depressing because, you learned what everything sounded like, but they used a new method to achieve the same results almost every week. You learn not to use the shampoo without checking it for dye, and they apply a charm to your hat. . . 

            It was paint. Blue paint. Or more accurately a paint bomb filled with blue paint. 

            "That's really a very cheerful colour, Perce." Fred/George came from around the corner. 

            "I'm going to report you to Ms McGonagall." Percy said in his softest calmest voice. 

            "Me?" Fred/George asked innocently. "Whatever for?" 

            "For setting this trap." 

            "But I didn't set the trap. I was just walking along here minding my own business, when I saw you. How do I know you didn't set the trap?"

            "Because I'm covered in blue paint, Geo-Fred!" 

            "You could have had an accident setting the trap, Percy, and who exactly are you reporting again? Geofred?" The twin laughed, walking away. "You are such a spoilsport." 

            "Better than a hoodlum!"  

            They were his favourite robes, and although Percy was absolutely certain that he would eventually get the paint out, it looked like he wouldn't be wearing them for a while. 

            How come this felt like the greatest loss of the evening? Penny had hurt. But Percy wasn't even sure how to start dealing with that. Should he cry, mourn the loss of something he really never had long enough to appreciate? Mourn the futures they could have had, the could have beens? 

            On the other hand, he missed his bloody best robe right now.


	4. Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

_And you see the things they never see_

_All you wanted, I could be_

_Now you know me, and I'm not afraid_

_And I wanna tell you who I am_

_Can you help me be a man?_

_They can't break me_

_As long as I know who I am_

Percy hurried back to the dorms, ignoring everybody's puzzled glances at his early return. They all knew that Wednesday was a Penny-night. The End. You could set alarm clocks by Percy's schedule. So now everyone was gawking. 

To be fair, it also could have been because Percy was blue.

He made it to the stairs without talking to anybody.  

            "Hey, Perce, you're back early." 

            Percy looked up. Just his luck. Any normal night and it would be deserted, as his three roommates stayed out as late as they possibly could because they could. "Hey, Oliver." He left it at that. 

            "Ah." Oliver nodded. 

            "What exactly do you mean by that? I'm just getting an early start on tomorrow." Percy very calmly climbed into his bunk and closed the curtains. 

            "Nice try, Perce, but you forgot to put on your pyjamas." Oliver paused. "Washing off that paint would be a plus, too." 

            "Fine, then, why don't you tell me what's wrong, since you seem to know everything, Mr. Wood?" Percy said calmly, some of the cold sharp tone muffled by the enormous red velvet curtains. 

            "Please don't call me that." Oliver's voice sounded terribly pained. "It's bad enough I have to listen to all the kids giggle whenever my last name's used. Do you have to join in on torture?" 

            Percy took a moment to consider. And laughed. 

            Oliver stuck his head into the bunk. "The others never believe me when I say that I've made you laugh. They just don't realize how perverted you are." 

            Percy couldn't help himself. He bent double, gasping more than laughing.

            Oliver sat down on the bed. "Want to tell me what's really wrong, before I start formulating theorems?" 

            "It's theories," Percy corrected automatically, "You formulate theories. And nothing's wrong." 

            "Penny dump you, huh?" 

            "Yeah." Percy flopped back on his pillow, smearing blue paint. 

            "Did you ask her why?" 

            "Of course, I'm not an idiot, Oliver. She said I was the perfect boyfriend." 

            "That makes sense." Oliver nodded. 

            Percy hit him with the pillow. 

            "Gee, Mr. Headboy, I thought pillow fights in the dormitories were illegal." 

            "And you think you're the one with a horrible name." 

            Oliver grabbed a pillow and hit him back. "So she dumped you because you were perfect, she's obviously never had to sleep with you. I'm sorry, Perce, but you snore like a Humdoozle." 

            "I do not!" 

            "Do too!" 

            The pillow flew back and forth between them a couple of times. 

            "Do you think I'm messed up, Oliver? I've heard them, Ol, Perfect Percy, no fun, good for nothing but school."

            "They don't know you, Perce, and that's as much your fault as theirs. You are a good guy, Perce, all a person has to do is be completely stubborn and wooden-headed and absolutely refuse to give up, and sit there annoying you until you let that good guy out." 

            "Oh." 

            "I notice I don't get any more theories about the Abbott Treatise or dissertions on the use of Smuggleswarm." 

            "You make dirty jokes at them." 

            "So I do, and here I thought I was special."  


	5. Author's Notes

            A big thanks goes out to all those who made it this far. Thank you for taking the time.

Okay, there's definitely going to be more, my muse hasn't deserted me yet. But I am looking for reviews. This piece is my second attempt Percy/Oliver slash fic. I kind of hated everything I wrote in the first one, and cannibalized the bits and pieces, and added/deleted entire chapters.  I strayed a little bit further from the Percy that I read in the novel, but somehow, the fic is has a little more heart. 

            So feel free to constructively criticize – I'm always looking for a way to improve something. In fact, I'm begging you to. I promise that I'm desperate and eager-to-please enough to respond to most reviews, and I take anonymous ones, too! 

            Rashelle Waterburn Seabrooks 


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